If you are not able to make a tough decision you will never be able to maintain a soft position.
Achieving success, reaching goals, living our dreams will not be at all possible by just coincidence, luck or average effort. The age of going to college get a degree, work a job, earn a decent income and live happily ever after is no longer around. Those days are gone never to return. We live in the age of Competition, Change and Complexity as Peter Drucker put it. You are no longer competing with people in your country or neighboring country, your competition is the world. Many companies in the western hemisphere employ people online that they have never met. People living in India, Philippine etc.
These workers work for much less, put in more hours and are hungry for the opportunity.
Your life needs a big decision and a big commitment. It is hard but it is not complicated.
Pull yourself away from the noise at least three times a week, spend sometime alone, find your purpose. Ask your self all the questions that you have been avoiding.
Start to pour some Time and Effort into “You”, your plan. Set your goals, work on yourself.
Just start, bit, by bit learn something, research something on your passion.
Don’t second guess yourself, don’t make excuses just do it. It is your journey, your life take control.